here we go again…..

here we go again…. i am looking through the post ‘what happened’ and i feel the same way all over again. i don’t understand why Bear and i go through this phases. i had a really bad episode where i really almost contemplated breaking up. i really felt suffocated and angry, really cannot tahan being with him anymore. then i asked for a week’s time out and he agreed to let me have my time alone. feel much better. i do miss him but i need my freedom and independence. i find it difficult foreseeing marrying him. what if i wake up one day regretting? it will be the worse nightmare ever!

why can’t my relationship be so simple. if only he were intellectually my peer. then all this wouldn’t be a problem. i wouldn’t feel stifled and i wouldn’t frustrated and angry all at the same time. why can’t it be a simple, girl falls madly in love with boy, girl is sure he the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, boy feels the same way and proposes, girl accepts. end of story. how simple and straightforward.

the ultimate question is: can i see myself marrying him?

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