why don’t i feel like talking to him?

why do i sometimes feel so irritated talking to him on the phone??

he sounded so exuberant and so effusive in his gratitude. it’s ok, i will be happy to be by your side, no need to jump all over me like an over-excited puppy.

i am so mean and heartless….

but that’s how i really feel. if he really knows how i feel, he’ll be hurt beyond belief.

wonder if i should go on pretending or if i should tell him how i feel.

he knows i sound distant on the phone but i don’t tell him why.

sometimes talking to him is such a chore…. when i see him face to face it’s ok. but the non-intellectually stimulating conversation bores me sometimes. when he complains about his pains and his fears or about his work. nothing strikes me as interesting. why have i become like this??!!

how do i become a supportive & loving girlfriend when i honestly feel this way? how can i change O Lord?

O Lord, please forgive me for my cruel words and cruel thoughts. Help me be patient & kind to Bear.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

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