not quite myself

feel strange, not quite myself. wonder if it’s something to do with the meds.

felt a kick in the brain on friday evening after the two ciggies which i was not supposed to have. things have been fine since then, reinforcing the fact that the inexplicable depression experienced in the past few days was physiological and not psychological in origin. does that mean i should up the meds? can i take the equally debilitating side effects? should i see dr. brian again? does it mean there is no chance of me getting off these meds for good?

things not great on the spiritual front. missed church again because i was too tired and have not been keeping my regular QT. disappointed in self.

at the moment, things seem back to normal but am anxious, wondering  when the next low period will overtake me. guess am still surprised i’m feeling better.

don’t feel like going for the book club meet tonight…i still want to stay away from people without needing to put on ‘the face’, the socially acceptable side of me.

in my attempt to take my mind of the anxieties, i tried watching a few movies to kill time over the weekend. watched hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy on sunday night. hilarious. loved marvin the clinically depressed robot and the point-of-view gun.

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