Monthly Archives: June 2009


am trying not to be emotionally upset about the impasse. but i am feeling the strain. am thinking of not going for cell tonight. have been distracted and ill-discplined over the past few days. have not been sleeping early as … Continue reading

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i can’t believe this is getting so frustrating… note to self for future transactions: 1. don’t be greedy. don’t sell to a seedy purchaser just because he’s offering a higher price. if you don’t trust him, go with your gut … Continue reading

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Dear Father 24June09

Father Lord, I feel guilty after the phone conversation with Darshan today. Am I being difficult Lord? I don’t think so. I feel I am only trying to exercise wisdom and protect my interests. Jesus teaches us to be meek and merciful. Lord, … Continue reading

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surprisingly better

i can’t quite explain why i suddenly feel better. feel a considerable uplift in mood since the enjoyable drum lesson yesterday evening. circumstances have not changed. it’s just as i have always suspected, a biochemical imbalance in the brain?

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miserable & tormented

didn’t go in to work yesterday, slept the whole day. must have tired myself from the bookclub meeting on monday night. FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF EVERYDAY. life veering out of control. am not managing well. wtf. ***** “The Spirit of … Continue reading

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not quite myself

feel strange, not quite myself. wonder if it’s something to do with the meds. felt a kick in the brain on friday evening after the two ciggies which i was not supposed to have. things have been fine since then, reinforcing … Continue reading

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mood is still volatile at best… the vast feeling of hopelessness comes and goes, like the flow and ebb of waves. self-control – one of the fruits of the spirit. where is it? am i that emotionally unstable and immature?

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