Dear Father 22Apr09

O Lord, oppresive thoughts have crushed my spirit. Didn’t go in to work yesterday. Not sure if I overtaxed myself physically over the weekend. Started feeling a bit low since last Friday when I was asked to sit somewhere else in the office as my talking on the phone was disruptive to others. Felt hurt and rejected but got over that. Then Auntie Karen’s judgmental statements really upset me on Sunday and that led to low feeling on Monday at work. The next day, I just didn’t feel like waking up. My physical body reacts to my emotions. I am trying not to let that happen, and to live out my life verse Galatians 2:20 but it’s difficult. Have been wallowing in self-pity these past few days even though I try not to. Feel miserable that I can’t afford a car, my career is non-existent and my job is an act of sympathy & kindness from others.

O Lord, forgive me for comparing myself to others and feeling miserable about it. I have the “I’m-approaching-30-and-what-have-I-got-to-show-for-it”. Lord, I want to theocentric perspective of life, not a narcissitic anthropocentric one. Help me see what I have in You, and to lay personal ambitions aside. My self worth is not based on what I have achieved in life, it is based on who I am in Christ. Help me to hang on to that central truth O Lord. Help me not lay up treasures on earth where moths will destroy, but to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness O Lord. IJN, Amen. 

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