why do you behave the way you do?

on mc today, on doctor’s orders. had initially resisted the idea, given that there is so much i need to attend to. on the other hand, to hell with it. no point killing myself over work. the rest of the team can handle it without me. it’s about time some pulled their weight anyway. no point being a martyr.

can’t sleep when i should be. darn internal clock.. waking up for work even though i don’t have to go in today. end up blogging.

for the past couple of days, i have been thinking  about what makes people behave the way they do. where are they coming from? what events and influences have come to shape their character and frame their worldview? what drives them? what makes them act/think in a certain way? an understanding of this makes such a diffence in how i deal with people.

did she grow up in poverty and as such is driven to make it financially so she doesn’t need to rely on anyone else’s charity ever again? why is he so insecure and brash? was he abused as a child and hence needs to protect himself from being hurt again? what makes a man arrogant and sarcastic? intellectual superiority to make up for other inadequacies? what makes her pliant and eager to please? lack of love and acceptance from an over-critical parent? what makes him so driven? what does he need to prove?

when relating to another person, i tend to assume the other person is just like me. i call it subconscious self-projection. i communicate to the person as though i am communicating to myself. from new-found experience, this is usually far from the case.

have just realised that the key to communication is not so much how clearly you articulate the message or how you deliver the information, as important as these elements are.  the key is to understand where this person is coming from, what makes him tick, and then tailor the information to come across in such a way that it resonates with him/her.

it’s probably not eureka to many, but it’s certainly newfound revelation to me.

well, enough of pondering and thinking….really should lie down and get some rest.

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