Current Mood: mellow
can’t believe i took 3 hours to complete 1 cover letter but well, that’s me, the perfectionist. won’t be satisfied until i’m finally pleased. that’s why doing anything takes such an effort – i can’t always meet my high standards all the time. this is gonnabe hard when i start work…it will take me forever to complete anything. for my sanity’s sake, i’ve gotta change.
anyway, now that i’ve sent it off, i’m feeling quite relieved. but i need to do two other things this weekend that will stress me out again:
i) prepare for a short sharing in church this sunday
ii) prepare for a comprehension and numerical test on monday.
argh. won’t think about it for now. that’s tomorrow’s worry.
on a happier note, i’m quite pleased to say i’ve finally gotten over F. it’s taken me some time but i’ve finally done it. yay.
i knew we were incompatible right from the start when i started to develop feelings for him, but the heart is a stranger to reason. furthermore, the timing was all wrong as he was just getting over a painful break-up. but most importantly, i knew he didn’t feel the same way about me. so i didn’t do anything about how i felt and suffered in silence, hoping for the feeling to pass.
well, now that it’s over, i’m quite relieved.
but what took me my surprise was the depth of what i felt for him. in my past relationships, i have never really cared for the other person’s happiness as much as mine. it was always me, me, me. now, i am desirous of his happiness more than for myself. i want to care for him and protect him from harm. since when? does it mean that i am now at a stage where i am more mature in my approach to relationships? more willing to give rather than take?